Episode 11: How to Love like Jesus - In Motherhood
As we begin to talk about being a mom, I think it’s important that we begin by recognizing what a true gift motherhood is. God uses us as the vessels to nurture and raise these little miracles, that will one day grow up to be adults - we get to do that - we get to experience a front row seat in our children learning and growing in a way that no one else gets to experience. You were gifted your children in the same way that we were ours and man, what a responsibility but what a privilege and honor! I say all that before we begin because with such great responsibility comes some big challenges. Little humans - who we have to take care of, teach and train up from feeding to sleep training to potty training to teaching them their ABC’s to algebra, navigating friend relationships to dating and everything in between and you never stop worrying about them. But we can do hard things! And it is totally worth it! Psalm 127:3 says “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”
We wanted to focus on 2 questions our listeners recently asked, the first being time management and the second being how to disciple your children to be Christian adults.
Let’s talk about Time Management:
It is one of the most talked about things in Motherhood - we just don’t feel like we have enough time to get it all done. And boy do we ever try and do it all - from working, taking care of kids, being a wife, kids are in sports or extra curricular activities to church, dinners and cleaning and volunteering, we are expected to do it all - and most of the time we do it to ourselves, am I right? (example of this past weekend - ball games, baby shower, church, choir practice, another ball game - Mady wanted to have friends over to swim and I really wanted to say yes, but I just didn’t have it in me) and unfortunately she was left disappointed.
Once I became a stay-at-home mom, I found myself not getting done all the things that needed to be done. Because I was home, I would put things off until I couldn’t put them off any longer. And then I would be stressed to the max so for me, keeping a Monthly, Weekly, and Daily calendar has helped me tremendously - Monthly for appointments/practices, On Sunday nights Derek and I sit down and discuss what we have going on that week - anything I’m missing and then every day I make a list around the things that I have to do with anything else that I’d like to do - wash clothes, vacuum, clean bathrooms - I have a specific day of the week that I do specific things. Mon - clothes, Tues - pick up, dust Wed - bathrooms, Thurs - vacuum,hardwoods, grocery shop and Fri - any extra chore that needs to be done. Very practical but keeps me on track.
Let’s talk about Raising Christian Kids to love the Lord:
The whole book of Proverbs is basically scripture on wisdom and how to live a godly life. I can’t help but think about the Proverbs 31 woman. This teaching comes from a wise mother to her son, it’s characteristics she’s telling him to look for in a potential spouse. For the sake of time I’m just going to read verses 10 - 31. Are we striving every day for our kids to see us as a Proverbs 31 woman? It’s not possible for us to live up to these expectations daily but we should be seeking this standard of living Matt 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.- We can and we may do a whole episode breaking down the Proverbs 31 woman before this series is over but for now I just want you to ask yourself this question can your children see the Proverbs 31 woman in the way you are living your life? We must first set the example before we can give the instruction. Because the old adage do as I say and not as I do never works, your children are going to do what you do most of the time so it’s important to be setting the Godly example that you want your kids to follow. Then when you give them instruction it will be easier for them to follow as they see this is the way you live your life.
In the Foreword of the Book, Mama Bear Apologetics, Nancy Pearcey wrote “God has given the parents the primary responsibility for the spiritual education of their children. In a previous era, it was not unusual for parents to slide that responsibility off to their church, youth group or Christian school. But that is no longer possible. In an increasingly secular age, it’s more obvious than ever that parents are on the front lines in preparing their children to face a society that responds to Christianity with puzzlement and outright hostility.”
In the book “Why They Stay” I’ve also referenced that Dr. Steve Parr states that some studies indicate that the probability of a person experiencing salvation in adulthood is only 6%. It is imperative that parents expose their children to the gospel.” He also states, which is a great reminder to us, that “You cannot make your child accept Christ. But as a parent, you can encourage a child in the development of their faith by offering them opportunities to hear the gospel and learn the stories of the faith…he goes on to say, I believe the best place to do that is the home. The second most important place to offer these opportunities is a Bible teaching church.” He also says that from his research,” it is no coincidence that the number one self-described reason for staying in church was “family upbringing.”
And here’s the cold hard truth, children learn from example - if you want them to develop a faith of their own - live it out and let them see it - What are some practical things?
Faithfully attend church. Sunday morning church attendance is a Saturday night decision make it easy on yourself - Get everyone’s clothes ready, get baths, plan breakfast and maybe even lunch ahead of time.
Let your kids see you reading your Bible and praying and invite them to join in.
Find a time of the day or a few times a week you can do family devotions. Teach your
Kids how to pray begin praying over your food and when they’re young pray with them at
Night before bed or teach them a simple prayer they can do on their own. If their old
Enough to be able to read themselves purchase childrens devotionals and have them
Read one each day.
Share Jesus with others, show kindness to others
Get your kids involved with missions, i.e. mission trips, food pantries, nursing home ministries etc.
And when you mess up ( and we all do), apologize. Admit your mistakes, ask them for forgiveness and be sincere.
What is the Purpose?
As I was studying, I was reminded of the scripture in Joshua 4 - after all that God had done for the children of Israel, Moses had died, Joshua leads them in the Battle of Jericho, God allows them to cross the Jordan on dry ground by cutting off the waters and then in Joshua 4, the Lord tells Joshua to take 12 men 1 from each tribe and place 12 stones as a memorial v.6 - “That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come saying, What mean ye be these stones? Then ye shall answer them, that the waters of Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it passed over Jordan, the waters of Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall be for a memorial unto the children of Israel forever. Then if we jump to Judges 2 after Joshua dies, v10 - And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, which knew not the Lord; nor yet the works which he hath done for Israel. And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord and served Baalim; and the forsook the Lord God of their fathers.”
We’re seeing this exact thing played out today - a generation neglected to tell their children of the goodness of God - forsaking God and that’s why we are seeing so much evil.
So the purpose is to remind us that our Christian influence matters to our children. They need to hear the stories of the goodness of God, the holiness of God and the salvation of God and they need to see mamas and daddys taking their own faith seriously.
What’s the Challenge for the Mamas?
2 things: time management - make a plan, prioritize what needs to be done - even if that means loving on a sick or needy baby - but pick 1 or 2 things that you need to do each day, don’t overwhelm yourself and do your best to stick to it. Secondly, start from infancy - reading Bible Stories, singing Jesus loves me, implement a family devotion - start with once a week…Make Jesus the ultimate priority - reading, praying, church - Tell your kids about Jesus any change you get so that they won’t end up like the generation in Judges that didn’t know the Lord nor the good things that He had done - Tell them about your salvation and remind them of the true miracle and gift that they are from the Lord each and everyday.
We have linked below some helpful resources/tools:
Mama Bear Apologetics https://amzn.to/428Rd1X
Why They Stay https://amzn.to/3MOMlct
Podcast - Birds on a Wire with Karen Stubbs https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wire-talk-with-karen-stubbs/id1101953069?mt=2
